A day-long celebration of diversity, set to the backdrop of a traditional summer garden party with a roster of live entertainment including 11 Olympiad games, The Chap Olympiad is designed to reward panache rather than sporting prowess and the games require the minimum amount of physical exertion. Anyone can take part, but we do require you to arrive at 12pm on the dot to sign up.
Whilst game participation is encouraged, it can be just as much fun to be a spectator, soaking up the sun, lounging in a deck chair and watching the hilarity unfold.
THE ODDJOB CHALLENGE
Contestants must hurl a reinforced bowler hat at a mannequin dressed as James Bond and knock his head off.
Contestants mounted on bicycles, one holding a tea cup, the other a teapot, must try and fill the cup of tea without spilling a drop or falling off their bicycles.
RIDING CROP RUMPUS
Six contestants kneel on the track with their bottoms in the air. Another contestant with a riding crop must whip them. But they are prevented from doing so by two fetishists who try to take the blows from the riding crop themselves.
Six contestants jointly hold a giant moustache to their upper lips. Three contestants, armed with scissors, razors and butcher’s knives (plastic ones!) must try and cut the moustache at any point. They will do anything to save their moustache.
PYONG YANG PING PONG
Two contestants try and play a normal game of ping pong, but are prevented from hitting the ball because it is suspended from the end of a fishing line, controlled by a man sitting in the middle of the table dressed as Kim Jong Un.
This event has been designed by the winner of a pre-Olympiad competition and will be announced on the day.
Contestants are given broadsheet newspapers and rolls of Sellotape. They must assemble a convincing pair of trousers on their team mate, which are then judged by the panel for their cut and style.
TIE VERSUS CRAVAT
Two contestants, one with a ribbon made from a gigantic necktie, the other with a cravat version, must perform aesthetically pleasing shapes with their ribbons. The judges assess the most stylish display and declare whether tie or cravat wins.
CARRY THE COX
Two rows of contestants sit behind each other on the track. Their team mate is passed along over their shoulders using their hands. First cox to reach the front of the line is the winner.
Two contestants, mounted on bicycles and armed with umbrellas and briefcases, must try and knock each other off their velocipedes.
Two shoeless contestants in Mexican wrestling masks, one smoking a pipe, the other a cigarette in a holder, wrestle each other’s feet until one contestant’s sock has been pulled off by his opponent.